Never say any of these (5) things to your partner!

Once, in the midst of an argument, my husband and I have reminded each other who makes how much money. When he did it, I got defensive and reminded him I made more during the first few years of our marriage. And I was also guilty. I had once argued that I should be able to do something I wanted because I made more money at the time. Never a good idea. 

Have you ever had one of those moments when you said something and immediately wished you could take the words hanging in the air back? 

Here are 5 things you should never say to your partner.  

  1. “I make more money than you.” Take my advice. This argument will never get you anywhere good. It shouldn’t matter who makes more; you should both feel equally empowered and entitled. 
  2. Mention breaking up: Often in a difficult moment, it can be easy to think about breaking up as a solution, even when it’s not the solution. It’s not uncommon to search for a way out of pain. However, if you stick with it and work it out, it is most often just a difficult day that will pass. When you threaten it, you may regret it later. 
  3. “I hate you.” Be careful what you say in moments of passion/anger. Critical words are never helpful in fixing a problem. “You always...” or “you never...” are often being spoken out of a place of pain. I used to do it, thinking that it would get my husband’s attention and let him know I needed him to change something, but instead of motivating him, it discouraged him from even hearing me or trying, since he felt like it was an unfair accusation. 
  4. “It's your fault.” Assigning blame only takes us further into disagreement and isolation. Remember, you’re a team, and you can be part of the solution. 
  5. Nothing (silent treatment). The silent treatment is an immature way to communicate that you’re upset about something. There is a place to reserve your words when you feel like you are too emotional, but once you have your emotions in check, pick a good time to communicate how you feel and why you feel this way. When it’s not done out of reaction, this will bring a positive outcome.